Running, I thought I didn't love you

I kind of disappeared for a bit.
 
And, it was partly due to falling out of love with running.

No worries: the love has returned … well, not exactly.

But, I did determine the cause of the no-love feeling: surface of the sun temperatures and 99.9% humidity. Running is really not too much fun at all in those conditions. I get even slower (how is this even possible?), and I feel like any progress I’d made during the past season is completely gone.
 

The evil sun disguising itself as a pretty sunset.

I debated taking a break from running group for the summer. But, then I heard some wise advice from a wise coach: what you’re doing now – even if it’s slower or even if you’re walking – will make you stronger for half marathon training (it begins in August).

So, I’m sticking it out. I’m slow, I’m walking more, but I’m running. And, I’m not letting myself get disappointed with my slower times (most of the time …).

The good news is I’m getting excited for half marathon season (and the costume it entails). Previously, I wondered if I’d ever care about a race again, so this is progress. 

I even started thinking a little bit (not really that much but more than ever before, which wasn’t much) about a marathon. That thought went out the window after Sunday’s craptastic 4-mile run. It was the type of craptastic run that you begin to question why you even run in the first place. If I can’t even run 4 miles comfortably, why bother? Why do I even call myself a runner? Why am I so slow? Why did I ever even minutely think about running a marathon? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So maybe my hot weather attitude could still use a little more work. But, I’m still running, and that’s what matters.

How do you handle running in the heat? Am I being a big baby?

Prepared? No. No, I'm not.

It's race month (St. Pete Rock 'n' Roll Half on Feb. 12), and I don't feel prepared. 

How did this happen, you ask. Good question. I asked myself the same thing. My answer: taking a break from running, being a long run loser and a a recent run-in with a massive headache and resulting burns on my legs probably had something to do with it. Or almost everything to do with it. 

Then there's the fact that after pretty strict training for my first half marathon, I feel like it ended in a big puddle of disappointment. Yeah, I finished the race. But nowhere near the time I wanted, and I was pretty miserable the majority of the race. What if heat and humidity rear their ugly heads during this race, too?

Sweating through my shirt before mile 5. Not a good sign, folks.

Really, though, these are all just excuses. I should be better trained. I'm kind of disgusted at myself (some things I obviously can't control, like illness, but I should be able to work around the other things). 

But, there's nothing I can do about it now (besides doing my best with my remaining runs before the race). And, train better for my next race.